Self-Inflicted Isolation
I almost set my car on fire this week. I’ll spare you the sordid details, but my car now smells of burnt leaves, and so do I. So, I’ve spent the last couple of days avoiding people in general, due to my overall stinkiness.
But, you know, I always spend a fair amount of time avoiding people, even when I don’t smell like charred back-seat. And, being the good little neurotic that I am, I tell myself that it’s because I’m more of a loner, and that people will just misunderstand me and my motives anyway. But, you wanna know the real reason? (Of course you do, you sadistic little monkey, you!) I’m afraid of being rejected.
There’s this great Garbage song that touches on this universal fear: “Avalanche is sullen and too thin. She’s starves herself to rid herself of sin. And the kick is so divine when she sees bones beneath her skin. And she says, ‘Hey baby, can you bleed like me?’” That’s all we want, isn’t it? For people to recognize us as alive and meaningful, fucked up as we may be. We want them to recognize that we all bleed just the same. But, we don’t think anyone will ever realize that. So, we hide.
I think we feel the same way about our sin. Real relationship requires honesty and I think we’re afraid that if we’re ever in a real relationship we’ll, at some point, lose it because of our past. So, we never do it; we spend our lives aching for it, but always are afraid to reach out and take it when it’s offered.
We stay away from God for the same reasons, I’m afraid. We can’t possibly accept that a righteous and holy God would fully and completely love and embrace us, so we stay at arms length. We don’t accept that there’s no condemnation for those who belong to Him. (Romans 8:1) We don’t accept that he takes us right where we are. And we can’t begin to fathom the idea of the Perfect One giving us His perfection, once and for all, in exchange for our sick, twisted sin. But, man, it’s true.
So, risk. Close your eyes and fall into his arms. Give yourself to Him and experience his full acceptance of you, and then boldly go, unclothed, into the lives of others, fully yourself; fully His.
-Chad
7:50:37 PM 
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