Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and so many others I don't have time to list them
I absolutely should not be writing in this state of mind. And yet not writing is, I think, part of why I'm in this state of mind. But mostly I think I am in this state of mind because I'm crazy. You know. You know how it is when you just don't fit in? When you're too sane to qualify for long-term hopsitalization (which doesn't even exist anymore. It's now called a homeless shelter!) and too crazy to feel at home in the world most people seem to inhabit. And sometimes I inhabit that sane world too and that is such a little piece of heaven. The ease, the slowness, the sense of relaxation and well-being, the lack of vigilence and worry and fear and downright paranoia. The optimism, the infusion of joy, the taste of hope, the weightlessness of living in the moment, inhabiting my own body without it feeling like lead, like it is in chains.
My son has just arrived home early with the sitter and I must now go look thrilled. Prayers and good karma please.
5:23:00 PM 
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